May 11, 2003 at 12:52:00 AM CDT
 »  [listening to

pain - square pegs

have i mentioned how amazing suzanne is to me? no, not nearly enough.

lifted from the suice juice's journal:

"and i just dont wann give a shit anymore. and its goin to suck even more cuz neals in town and shit. its fukin annoyin when hes here, he fuks with my shit. wont leave me the fuk alone. messes up My bathroom. locks his door, where this comp is. and its like dude! we all know what your doin, cant you fukin grow up you fukin perv. and if he does read this. FUK YOU! u piss me off like a mother! all you care about is your ass, always wantin my ass to do shit for you. grow up! stop making me be ur slave. shit dude! just go live with martha or some shit.all you do is sleep here. did you forget you had a sister, the one you use to spend alot of time with, we could talk forever. and now its like i cant even get a "hey, sup" nothing, NOT A GOD DAMN THING. its like im the only child with this guy renting out the bedroom across from mine. wtf dude! "

suz, i'm sorry things are like that now. but you are funny when you get pissed. not to trivialize your emotions here. it's just funny thinking of you yelling at nael's door.

May 11, 2003 at 12:28:21 AM CDT
 »  [listening to

white stripes - seven nation army

you know, sometimes you think things are fine. and nothing can hurt you anymore, because you've had to deal with it for so long, that nothing, no anything can make you feel the same way you have for the majority of you existance? yeah, well, then reality makes a guest appearance. in an IM box, like the fucking deus ex machina reminding you that people are full of shit and no matter how much you think you can believe a person and look at them in their face and see their innards, they are nothing but falsity. but then you realize that person who is most false is none other than the man who thinks he is invincible to his own hate. this man wants you to believe he has it all put together. that he's well-adjusted, regardless. but he's willing to share his insides because that's the only way he remembers he's alive. red badges of courage to keep from ripping his own flesh from his brittle bones. so life sucks like that. sometimes.

May 6, 2003 at 11:35:39 PM CDT
 »  [listening to

white stripes - now mary

sereshacer: you should iron your face on it sereshacer: like iron on transfer sereshacer: or something cool on it sereshacer: like a vagina GpsyAcdQueen: that would be cool

v, that's gross.

(rest of conversation)

GpsyAcdQueen: NO sereshacer: hehe GpsyAcdQueen: what is wrong with you sereshacer: nothing sereshacer: can i post that .... the like a vagina/that would be cool sereshacer: it would be totally out of context *** GpsyAcdQueen signed off at Tue May 06 22:41:38 2003.

May 1, 2003 at 10:46:22 PM CDT
 »  [listening to

none

el Tejano beat us. they got named Best Newspaper Staff and Paper by Del Mar Press Club. what the heck. okay, maybe they had a better paper. but we would no fucking way of ever knowing because they never trade papers with us. how messed up. we send them ours all the time. it's free - just do it. second, none of the other schools were even going to fucking submit their paper this year. for no reason. oh yeah, except we won everything last year. so they were pissy. we won a fucking Crown. so how did we go wrong this year.

i am officially pissed off eternally.

April 24, 2003 at 11:39:00 PM CDT
 »  [listening to

bright eyes - haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh

I already miss my people. I had to yell at my NHI kids today. and it sucked. but they needed it. tough love. but they'll be gone, because I'll be gone. and I needed to realize that.

April 24, 2003 at 4:43:42 PM CDT
 »  [listening to

sigur ros - olsen olsen

okay, i'm here at work, which is basically my desk in the newsroom. and I can't help being sad. well, I guess I could. things are going pretty well for me, and even though no one (except angel) likes my new redesign of the site, I kinda like it. it suits me right now. and Ithaca is closer. yee-ha. but it's still upsetting knowing that this is honestly my last year in high school, last in corpus (well, saving grace), last chance to see all of my friends together, but worst yet last issue of hoofbeat. that's got to be the worst of all. because I can't imagine myself anywhere else. I've spent too much time here. I've seen our newsroom go from all apple II's with a crappy printer and a decent paper to a all iMac lab with a occasionally crappy printer and a great paper with a great staff. once we distribute this one, it's over. no mas. and I don't know how to deal with that. I know it's silly and cliche and juvinile, but this paper is mine. and I've put my life into this. and it's almost gone. like, I had somehow thought I would be doing this forever, walk into 127 and say hey to Keach and check for my editing, talk to the editors, laugh with/at Lindy, cry a little under my desk, eat horrible junk food, stay way too late. and that would be life. I know that's naive. and I know life is more than that. and I'll be ready for it. once I get out from uner the desk.

April 20, 2003 at 10:23:45 PM CDT
 »  [listening to

wilco - jesus, etc.

i'm still feeling sick. and my lip is pulsating for some reason. and open all night is something i'm slacking on. which i shouldn't be. because i told myself not to slack on it.

ah, gotta run. irony of ironies.

April 16, 2003 at 9:58:47 AM CDT
 »  [listening to

wes - singing.

i'm number eight. which doesn't matter. because i'm going to ithaca. so there.

April 7, 2003 at 10:47:09 PM CDT
 »  [listening to

bright eyes - the calendar hung itself

don't be like this. you know i won't forget. i won't break this promise. no way.

April 2, 2003 at 8:21:40 AM CST
 »  [listening to

hopefully hail to the theif

do i? should i? i wanted surprise - but tempation waits. hail to the thief. get behind me, yorke.